I genuinely hate how I look. Too masculine to be feminine, too feminine to be masculine. I'm a failure. I'm ugly. Ugly. Kids at school don't believe me if I say I'm a boy, nor if I say I'm a girl.

The only advice I can find to look more masculine is workout routines. I work out, I don't eat, I run. I don't eat. I don't want to lose weight, but I think it's the only way at this point. My thighs are thick, too thick to be male. I hate this shit.

My eyes are too large. My nose too small. My mouth too rounded. My chin too sharp, my cheeks soft, my eyebags swollen. I look like a Barbie doll.

I hate seeing people. Everyone looks better than me. Everyone IS better than me. I'm not fucking real anymore, man. I'm not a person. I'm just an imposter.

Whenever I look at myself I try to notice the muscle I've had for years: the thickening of the neck, the shoulders, the calves. I feel like no one else sees it.

https://www.imghippo.com/i/hOl3465jTk.png

https://www.imghippo.com/i/wES9526mg.png