I'm sorta tweaking and it feels like there's a big pile of nothingness in my mind (or body) that is just- there- and it cant leave and each day, each bad interaction, bad SOMETHING, just inches its way to me- some days it really does feel like I cant handle it anymore and that whatever I do is either, annoying, rude (in some stupid way), clingy, loud, obnoxious, "emotionless" as my sister said the other day at damn VOLLEYBALL PRACTICE- or even like I am better off alone bc what? who asks if I'm alr?? like 3 ppl!! AND ONE OF THOSE IK IS FOR SURE IS @HANNIE BC SHE CAN SEE IM UPSET! its like each morning when I wake up, a mask, is on my nightstand waiting eagerly to be put on like it has been every day... The mask is usually happy but it breaks, constantly ... At this rate I'm thinking about just like- shutting up yk? Bc then I'll be able to be consumed into my own thoughts and yk the pile of nothing? It will consume me to the point that I actually DO shut up- bicker bicker bicker is all I hear anymore and jelly jelly jelly is all I see. And in my thoughts it's just- shut up shut up shut up - THAT'S ALL I SEE,DO, HEAR, AND THINK ANYMORE- AND OFCCC IM A OVERTHINKER!! I fucking plan for what will happen even though ik it won't go as planned but I still wish... I've tried -



how do I get this to stop...





i hv my pencil bag nxt to me <3 time for an EXTRAORDINARY NIGHT !! <3


yes.