!! RANT ALERT !!

Let me just start this off by saying that i am so SO EXTREMELY SORRY for being gone for so long. So many things happened between then and now, nothing too terrible, but one of the main things was my internal insecurities finally bubbling up to the point where i did NOT wanna draw much of ANYTHING for AGES. Even off platform and in real life, i barely drew anything, not even a doodle. Why? Because i kept seeing everyone else doing so amazing with their art, improving every single day, looking better and better, but my art looked almost the same and it kinda drove me a little mad on the inside, so i just completely stopped, afraid that i would never become the great artist that i told myself years ago that i would be. Wormy, Luna, Asin, Raid, and a bunch of other talented people on this platform: I admired every last one of you to the fullest degree, but at the same time, you were all my envy and what i wanted to be that i knew i likely wouldn't ever become. I know with art that practice makes pretty, but i tried and tried and tried again, and nothing i did ever seemed beautiful enough. Even with work i was proud of in the past, after a little while, it started to look like all my previous work that WAS bad, especially compared to everyone else's vibrant and detailed works. I still couldn't draw hair well, i still couldn't draw a perfect circle, it still took me over 30 minutes TODAY to make this look the way i wanted it to, and even still, it looks just like how i left off months ago, still stuck with stickmen, still drawing like i'm 3 years old, meanwhile inside my head, i have art and fully fleshed-out animations that i am near CERTAIN would make any animation studio envious, but how do i put that beauty out into the world when i'm left here drawing Bob's circle body 20 times before i get a half-decent result? And he's STILL not perfectly round? All of this combined is what made me stop, and frankly, stop wanting to interact with the community as a whole. I was too different from the crowd, i always have been, so what was the point in being somewhere i didn't believe i belonged?...Though, nearly every day since i left, at least one of you guys entered my mind, and since i haven't seen your faces, i imagined your ocs and characters and personas as your faces. You know what they looked like in my head? Sad, distraught, upset, wondering where Bob was, wondering where I was, and while i thought your lives would just move on without me, that you wouldn't miss me, my subconscious told me otherwise. All the interactions we've had, all the collabs we've done, the things you all praised me for when i thought i was doing terrible, it came into my DREAMS now and again on bad days when i felt like drawing, but my fears said: "No, not today." And i listened. I foolishly listened. But today, i told myself i would face my fears and face my friends once again.

And draw Bob again.
Hi, I'm HappyGreatHeart, and me and Bob can't wait to draw.