so usually to do vents I need the mood to do it in and lucky you guys I'm pissed off right now. Thing was that my friends decided to do the same shit that leaves me in NO peace what so ever. so lately some shit has been happening blah blah blah that kind of shit that happens where ppl vent yeah yeah yeah its the same story, so here it goes. I usually am happy right? im happy because sometimes I mask the true feelings behind it and sometimes when I get hurt I'm fine with getting hurt, hell if I get shot the next day I don't really care, I can go fuck myself right? well sure I will my whole life and it's still happening, my life is a shitshow that people can laugh at and when people look at me the first thing they think is "oh look its the kid who can't keep the mouth closed with a retard of a friend group" and thats usually why I beat myself up (used to do it physically now I do it mentally) so I call myself what people call me inside their head most of the times people who are related to me like "your a piece of trash and you are an embarrassment to the human race and you should crumble up and die" and well does it affect me, I don't need the sympathy of other people too, I can handle on my own like I have for the last 13 years.