i don't really want any sympathy right now, it won't help me and the way i feel, i just feel like my problems aren't valid and my struggles don't matter, i don't want people think i'm faking my struggles because i'm truly not, i don't deserve anyone's sympathy or comfort, i don't need it.

Please don't ask about the things that are listed in this post, they are just things people have said to me, they don't matter and i don't want to be reminded by them.

I'm sorry i was weird, annoying, and an unpleasant person to be around, yes i know i'm disgusting, i know how ugly i am, i know how mean i am, i know how bratty i am, i know how much of a psycho i am, my thoughts are disgusting to i hate it, i hate how bad i am, i hate how much love people give me, i don't deserve anything, i should rot and starve to death because i'm a horrible person, i don't deserve kindness or love or help, i'm to scared to kill my self i'd rather be murdered in a brutal way than actually kill myself, of course i can do small acts of arm to myself but it never helps, i cut my hair and my skin and i bite my lip until it bleeds, and i can't handle being rejected or actual criticism from people, i just break down and start drama and i wish i could take back every word I've said to people, my mental health is in shambles.

I wish i was someone else i wish i had supporting parents, i wish i had good grades, i wish i wasn't dumb and stupid, i wish i looked different, i wish i wouldn't harm myself, i wish i wasn't force feeding myself until i want to throw my guts out, i wish i had an actual relationship with someone and not something that i know wouldn't work.

Please don't look at me, don't think about me or how my day was, don't look at my art and praise me, i don't deserve you're praise or you're thoughtfulness, i'm sorry for everything I've done, i'm sorry that you care enough about me to actually read this.

"One day i'll be different" i always think to myself, but it never changes, i'm mean, cruel, selfish, apathetic, annoying, disgusting, gross, and ugly.

please don't care about me, please don't comfort me, i don't want it, it does nothing to change me or help me.