December 8th is coming up. do not bring it up. Since i have been gone i have been recovering from that along with other traumas ive had in my life time. I haven't moved on all the way and i hate thinking about it. I will forever apologize for lying about the person in passing last year and have explained before why i even did it in the first place.

I hate how often things like shootings or as quoted.."bloodbaths" are joked about in school. I try not to shake during lock down practices. they don't know what its like to lose someone you love to someone that's still walking the earth.

and nobody can take me seriously. Im convinced god is an excuse to validate the causers of trauma or they are to afraid to admit that everyone isn't a good person and they are putting to much hope in people they don't even care about.

Do not comfort me about december 8th, do not bring it up when your talking to me and see me as a person rather then a victim.

-Benjamin/Zip