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🎆🎇HAPPY NEW YEAR my 🧨🎇FESTIVE 🥳🎊FRIENDS🎉‼️‼️ 💃💃Congratulations😘 4️⃣ surviving😇 1️⃣ more cycle 🍒🩸🩸😬around 🏀the SUN 🌞🕶️☀️‼️‼️ Twenty-twenty-four2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣4️⃣ was LONG and 🫣HARD🥴, let’s recount🔢 what happened… a 😳scandalous😱 TWINK💁♂️🏳️🌈✨ recorded😩🤳 his WILD🥵🥵ESCAPADES 📲from DEEP🥶 within the ⛺️confines of the 🇺🇸UNITED STATES 🏛️SENATE❕ … The Sun🥵☀️ spread👐🏽 her legs🦵🦵 WIDE📭 open, revealing👀 her 🕳️🌑SOLAR 💥ECLIPSE🕳️🌑 to 🌎NORTH AMERICA❗️… a 🇫🇷French 👨🏻DADDY 💈POLEvaulter was 🚫DISQUALIFIED🙊🙊 in the Summer OLYMPICS💍🌶️ when his 🫨GIANT 🥩 POLE🕹️ got in the way❕… and 🧠🌀DEEPTHROAT😵💫 DONNIE🤠, after getting his GYATT 🍑💥BLASTED🤯 on the 🍼CAMPAIGN trail, 🫡🤤SUCKED OFF😮💨 a microphone🎤🤤 (this is 🙅♂️NOT👏 A 👏JOKE🙅♀️) and got🏁 a presidential🗳️ ELECTION🍡😈‼️‼️ BUT🍑 IT'S🍒 all COME🍌 to an end🔚🎬, so let’s 💃👯♀️ DANCE🕺🏻 into Twenty-TWENTY-five2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣5️⃣ with a 🅱️IG 💥BANG❗️ When that 😳CLOCK😩 STROKES🕰 🌃MIDNIGHT🕛, 🎱🔮BALLS🏐 are gonna 🙇♂️DROP🧎♂️, 🥂🍾 CHAMPAGNE’S🤭💎 gonna 🤯🧨POP💥, and we’re gonna 🌬🌬BLOW🍆💦🤤 some FAT 🧠😮💨HORNS📯😈. You may do dry🚫🥃🍸🍹 JANUARY🥶 but make 🫵🏻your NEW 🆕 Year’s RESOLUTIONS🫦🫦 to keep that PU**Y 🍩WET‼️ 💌Send💋📫 this to 2️⃣5️⃣ of your 🤪ROWDIEST🤪 naughtiest😫💦 📣📣NOISE MAKERS🎉🎉. If you get 0️⃣🔙, you 🚫won’t👮♂️ be getting 😱ANY 🎉PARTY poppers 🎉 POPPED 💥 inside🍌🕳 🫵🏻you this 🎊🎊🍆🍆 NEW YEAR’S DAY📆🍆🎊🎊. If 🫵🏻you get 5️⃣🔙, the 🎆fireworks🎇 🙅♂️WON’T❌❌ be the ONLY thing ♋️EXPLODING👀👀 tonight‼️‼️ If 🫵🏻you get 🔟➕🔙, get ready for the 🌊WETTEST🥺🥺, 😵💫RAUNCHIEST, BLUE-FILLED👅🫃, BBL-🅱️🅾️🅾️STED💅🏻😏 NEW YEAR💯‼️‼️