my heart

is sinking

it's stone

and shrinking

i'm not him
i'm not sweet
i'm not the boy who struggled
to put on his bed sheets

i'm not him
i'm not kind
even to your most obvious struggles
i'm blind

my heart
it hurts
it's locking itself away
it misses your words

my heart
lungs, limbs, and brain
they're rushing to hug the ground
just like the rain

i'll be dead soon
i'll serve no purpose
my whole existence
is just a circus

i'm not all might
i have no hope
i have no strength
i have no fight

i remember

the words of my mother

"ask her a question, one like no other"

but what would i ask? the weather? the class?

it's raining, and she's in math

right next to a track, walked by a train


and me? i'm just a tiny droplet of rain.