so my dog is going to die in 4 years and I'm so sad I might actually be depressed, he my only real pet, my turtle died too, I've had so many fishes, but my dog blue is my favorite one and I feel like I wanna kill myself if I can see my dog when he dies, I know its childish but I got him in 2018 or 2019 and I loved him through all the pain of him biting and cutting my eyebrow, to him killing a mole, to scratching me up, I love him so much and I don't wanna cry but I have to cuz hes gotten better and he always stays near me, sleeps near me and him dying would internally kill me and its just so hard to go through the pain of another friend dead, I've lost so many and I don't wanna lose him, its not just him but my mom nearly died 2 days ago and if she doesnt get better shes gonna die too and I'm gonna do my best to help her. I hate that I've been so bad to my mom cuz I mess up her food, and I don't want her to die, I'm gonna die, everyone's gonna die, my friends always nearly kill themselves and I hate it, my life has been a shitshow and it doesnt matter bcuz I have great friends and I have it so easy from being in poverty, no friends, no relatives who liked me, being shunned from half my family, almost dying, and my sister making my life hell from (0,0) my dad and mom fought ever since I was born and my dad left when I was 5 and I only see him on holidays which is half my lifespan so far. I wanted to kill myself so bad, I hated everything and everything hated me, I was so tired of getting put on the spot for years, I imagined stabbing myself and shooting myself and putting my hands around my neck. anyhow, now everyone I love and know are either nearly dying or are gonna die and I want it to stop. I might not make it to my 30's (my dog dies in 2029)- your cool freak, Neymar123.