If God exists, why doesn't he do anything? Why don't any of them do anything? Neither God nor gods have spoken in thousands of years. They're absent.

God won't help, he won't protect, he won't even speak.

I wonder if God hears us but chooses not to respond, or if he doesn't hear us. Maybe he left, and will not come back. Maybe he's given up on us and is letting everything go wrong because he doesn't care.

Does he still care? Does he still love? With every passing day, my own answer to those questions only tilts more towards no.

Maybe he doesn't exist. Maybe life is a cruel mistake where we get to love and create and destroy and rebuild only to suffer the rest of everything without it.

Maybe the afterlife isn't rest: instead, it's nothing. All of the precious lovers and friends and family we've found and grew up with will one day never again feel anything. We will never again feel anything.

That day inches closer and closer, slowly taking a bit more than it should. The first day it's an inch, the second day it's an inch and a half, the third day it's three inches, and so on.

I wish God existed. I wish God cared, I wish it wasn't the duty of mankind to love and worship him, but the choice.

I wish the God who created me loved me. I wish he was there for me. I wish I could hear even a single word from him so I know that he's real. I wish he'd fix this. But he won't.