BoxyBean and her boyfriend make me so jealous. I don't even like her boyfriend. She just has to drag him everywhere. I hate her boyfriend, but I love her. Their relationship makes me so jealous of what I could have had. I thought I was never going to tell this story on here, but here goes. (WARNING...I'm sorry if this is too much...)

A couple to a few years back I was dating a girl that was already apart of our group prior. She was beautiful, kind, perfect in every way. She was the one who would trace every scar with her fingers, hug me every day, and healed me through my trauma. I cant even finish this paragraph without tearing up...then she died due to being murdered in a school shooting. I watched it happen with my very own eyes. I was also shot myself, as of that's where the scar on my stomach came from. It scraped me. But she got shot in the heart. I wanted to die. I would rather have sacrificed myself. I now I live here today, crying because I'm writing this, and crying because BoxyBean's STUPID relationship is giving me flashbacks.

I know this website isn't for venting, I know! I just feel way too selfish and attention seeking typing this, but I just keep having nightmares...I thought they had stopped. But they...never stop. I don't even want to fall asleep tonight.

Thank you for reading this.