I've had a crush on one of my best friends since like October and she is straight (codename: raspberry). well, I'm 75% sure, because when I ask her about it she says that she isn't sure who she likes. I still consider her straight in my head. just because she didn't decide who she is yet doesn't mean that she might like girls.

but that's not the worst part. I honestly like having a crush on her, because it is relatively safe. I don't have to worry about confessing or whether she likes me back or not, like you would with a normal crush. I was just planning to have this crush for however long it takes me to accept the fact that this is impossible and move on in silence, without anyone knowing. the only person who knows is Skittlesss, who I genuinely trust because I know she can keep the secret and understands what it's like when a lot of ppl find out about your crush.

the worst part is I accidentally told a girl that I liked someone when she asked me. now she wont stop bothering me and keeps asking me to tell her who she is. I try to gaslight her and tell her the wrong info, but idk if that brought her even closer to the answer or not. she also guessed it once over text, but I denied it immediately. what makes it even worse is that another girl overheard our convo in class and now she's interrogating me too. also she's really close to guessing it. like extremely. she asked me if she had dyed hair and if she was in theater (raspberry is) but I denied it. I also could almost hear her name when she whispered it into the other girl's ear. and then I heard her reply that "no, I asked her before and she said no" but the second girl kept looking at me weird until dismissal, so I think she may be on to me.

also side note: both of them are friends with raspberry, and the second girl is actually her closest friend.